Mike Walker in White Dwarf

The year, you see, was 1998. I had been in t’obby for almost two years and, after cutting my teeth on the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, was starting to sniff around Warhammer of a square-based kind.

Mike Walker’s first article for White Dwarf was almost perfectly timed. To a lad who liked Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams and Spike Milligan, and also happened to be curious about WaHaFaBa, this article was brain dynamite. It was funny*, it was apposite, and it was all paced and delivered in such a way that you couldn’t miss the point even if you were busy laughing at the bits about Kim Basinger and Goblins with silly names.

Mike’s articles kept on coming out every now and then, petering out in the same month that I was off to university. Perhaps that accident of timing accounts for a lot. It’s the secondary school years that cement our sense of nostalgia out here in Middlehammer-land: the best edition is always the one you played when you were in your teens, and mine were, in a small way, guided by the irregular transmissions from a double garage somewhere in soggy Wiltshire.

This was Warhammer the way I was playing it, on temporary boards laid over big beds and kitchen tables, and later the club-in-the-pub-in-the-club above the Hyde Park tavern. Army lists may have been quite cutthroat, but characters had silly or at least referential names, and it was the daft circumstantial moments rather than the brilliant tactics that made the longest impressions.

I’ve read and reread Mike's work over the years, and a few years ago when I was writing for the now-defunct House of Paincakes Blog Network, I happened to mention him in passing while talking up the relaunch of White Dwarf.

To my eternal delight, the man himself materialised in the comments. Not just to say thank you and gaze mournfully toward the garage door where, presumably, Dug Bugman and co. still languish in ancient toolboxes – ho no. Mike was courteous enough to provide a full list of his contributions to White Dwarf over the years, which I reproduce here (well, down there) along with some of my own hopefully-helpful notes on what’s in them. The numbers get a bit wonky in the middle, since some of the scans available are from US editions of the Dwarf that ran a month behind, but I think I've got 'em all now.

• 224 (August 1998) – First Encounters of the Warhammer Kind – advice on introducing new players, plus the Battle of Newberry Pass scenario that puts it into practice
  
• 226 (October 1998) – The Battle of Iron Axe Ridge – advice and a scenario for large armies on small tables
• 230 (February 1999) – Thump & Grind – tactics for beating Skaven
• 231 (March 1999) – Putting the Ploy in Deployment – a five step program for putting your models in the right place – before you fight, remember to SCRAP!
• 232 (April 1999) – Fighting with Cold Blood – tactics for playing with and against Lizardmen
• 233 (May 1999) – Like a Rat out of Hell – Battle Report! Mike’s Dwarfs vs. Gareth Hamilton’s tournament-tuned Skaven and some frankly dodgy rules calls. Skitterleaping regular-ass Clanrats out of units they could never normally leave to pin down a whole Dwarf regiment's shooting? Mike wuz robbed!
• 236 (August 1999) – Top Gear? – Chariot tactics and test drives – shame he never got to take the Black Coach for a spin…
• 241 (January 2000) – A Touching Dilemma – on the rules for “being in base contact” and etiquette surrounding this convoluted matter
• 246 (June 2000) – The Gentle Art of Getting Fired – tactics for units that shoot things
• 253 (January 2001) – Dicing with Magic – a walkthrough of the sixth edition WFB magic system
• 254 (February 2001) – Unnatural Selection – approaches to army lists and setup for Mike’s local league
• 255 (March 2001) – Club Night! – more tales from the garage as Mike’s league hits the "test game" stage
  
• 256 (April 2001) – Dansing with Wolves – yet more league reports, and a kick in the eye for anyone who thinks Ravening Hordes was “balanced”.
• 257 (May 2001) – It Ain’t Easy Being Green – the end of the league, and a review of his Orc and Goblin army list
• 258 (June 2001) – Fifteen Ways to Leave your Cover – how to ensure satisfactory terrain placement if you're not a "perfectly symmetrical two hills two woods two buildings" wasteman
  
• 260 (August 2001) – To Kill a Bloodthirster – this one should be fairly self explanatory
  
• 270 (June 2002) – The Strong, The Short and The Small – unconventional but reliable Dwarf tactics
  
• 273 (September 2002) – Pale Riders – Fast Cavalry tactics, and comforting advice for Dwarf and Skaven players
• 282 (June 2003) – The Black Art – a blow-by-blow walkthrough of Necromancy, informed by Mike’s dabbling with a Vampire Counts army
• 289 (December 2003) – Rolls, Re-Rolls and Rings – on the etiquette of dice and wound counting
• 290 (January 2004) – Extreme Measures – on the perils and pitfalls of measuring, guessing and wrangling ranges
• 297 (September 2004) – How to Lose at Warhammer – which I read right before I went off to university: the end of an era for us both

 

* If I stop and think about it all I am of course far too mature to find the names “Wobblebottom Rumblebelly” or “Bugman’s Ultimate Response Patrol” at all amusing, but if you start thinking like that you end up far too mature to be playing with toy soldiers at your age, so – I’d watch out for that sort of thing if I was you.